Forgiving your abuser is perhaps the most difficult task you will ever pursue. How do we forgive? When they will never apologize… never change… never recognize how they’ve damaged you… How do we forgive?

What do you do when the anger and hurt comes boiling up yet again within your soul?

First of all stop. Breathe. Quiet your mind. Understand that hatred and anger serves only to hurt YOU. Your abuser is completely unaffected by it. Let God deal with them.

Jesus wants to heal YOU. He wants YOUR soul to be free.

I like to imagine the bad feelings rolled up into a little black ball. Jesus stands before me with hands reaching toward me. He beckons me to place the pain and hurt into His open hands.

He is urging you to do the same. He never refuses to take that little black ball of pain from you. He already offered to carry all of it as He hung on the cross. And as you give it to Him, feel His peace and love wash over you. It will happen every single time.

Every. Single. Time.

You may need to do this repeatedly over the years, maybe thousands of times. Do it. Decades of abuse are not conquered quickly. It is worthy work. Do not hold onto that black ball of unforgiveness or it will become a root of bitterness that will kill your soul. Give it to Jesus as often, as many times as needed.

This is how you heal.