My disembodied spirit floated through hospital corridors. I watched from the ceiling as ER medics pounded on my chest. But God had a different plan and my soul blasted back into my body.
Today I am completely healed from depression. You can also defeat depression! Be Still: Defeating Depression Through Stillness tells my tangled journey from brokenness, prescription drug addiction, demonic oppression, depression and suicide to healing. I describe my meditative prayer process and show you how to also seek wholeness through stillness.
We have become addicted to our ever-present thought chatter. It fabricates the narration of our days, critiquing the people around us, noting offenses, bludgeoning ourselves for perceived flaws, worrying about the electric bill, planning our weekend, assembling our shopping lists. What if we could just make it stop? Stop for a blessed few moments of internal silence? Ten glorious minutes of peace? Taming the incessant babble of our brain is the secret to the deepest joy. It is a key to spiritual awakening and growing closer to God. It is the key to a victorious depression-free life.
But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:7-10
Blue is a writer, artist, photographer, musician, and gardener. She has run her own website development company, Blue’s ArtHouse Graphics & Web Design, since 1997.
Blue writes inspirational nonfiction about seeking God in the wilderness through meditative prayer. She has just completed her first full length book, Be Still: Defeating Depression through Meditative Prayer, a memoir about her death experience, healing and spiritual awakening.
Blue and her husband, Craig, live on an off grid homestead in Southeast Missouri. Follow their off grid adventures at hermitsway.com.
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Just then the largest, most fantastic falling star I have ever seen shot across the sky. It had a long sparkling trail streaming far behind it. I’ve never seen such a sight before or after. We all gasped simultaneously in amazement. The pastor had no idea that was going to happen. It was God’s gift just to our little group. WOW, what a beautiful sign from God! I think He was reassuring us that He was there with us and had seen our hard work. Often over the years since then, I have often heard God whisper into my ear, “Remember the falling star…” God sees us. He is here with us. He knows you intimately. He loves you and wants you to come back to Him. Remember the falling star.
But that is only the very beginning of our story. Our physical life here is only the tiniest drop of water in the ocean of eternity. The fate of our souls in infinitely more important. This is why Jesus’ teachings focus on the kingdom of heaven rather than on our plight here on this earth. Jesus came to show us the way, the truth, and the life which was Himself. There is only one God and only one Savior, Jesus Christ. Do you know Him? That is the only question that really matters.
In my own Christian life, I’ve experienced several different time periods, distinct “spiritual baptisms” where I grew much closer to God and He opened up my mind and soul to understand Him much more deeply. The last one happened in August 2019 when I began having vision experiences in which my soul was transported to heaven to pray for the earth with all of the saints in heaven.
This hasn’t been easy. I don’t want to imply that I just smoothly shifted into this position of trust, because I didn’t. I have shed many tears in the past couple of days, afraid, throwing a spiritual temper tantrum. But like David, I did not doubt in my God. I did not blame Him for my unhappiness. I worked through my fears (for now anyway) and wound up here in this place of submission and trust and PEACE. And it feels really good!
So now I find myself in this most unusual place where I can do nothing but “wait for God.” This is actually quite an amazing place to be. We have committed to doing what we believe He is calling us to do regardless of how we feel about it. God is removing from us all the THINGS that we have hung our hopes and joy on over the past years. We have no idea what our future is going to look like. And for two OCD, overplanning, super disciplined folks like us, this is downright terrifying.
The more time you spend seeking Jesus in prayer and in His Holy Word, the more of Him you will get. He will reveal Himself to you and open up your mind to understand Him. But you’ve got to spend that time with Him. Carve time out of your too busy life for Him every single day. Guard that time. Be jealous of it. Don’t stop seeking, knocking, asking for more of God! More Holy Spirit! More fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control. More wisdom! These are the most valuable gifts that anyone could receive. And they are PROMISED if we only ask!
Shifting over to Mary mode has been fantastically beneficial to my soul. Through meditative prayer, I sit “at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word” for at least an hour every day. Through this extended daily time with God, I have learned to recognize His voice much more clearly. My relationship with Him has grown deeper and much more meaningful than I ever dreamed was possible.
I used to keep quiet about my Christian faith. For so long our culture has told Christians to be silent, that we are offensive. We have been told our views are sexist, misogynistic, patriarchal. We are told that we should be polite and not offend other people with our belief in Jesus. These things our culture says about Jesus are not true. I reject the lies. I will not down down to this perpetually offended cancel culture. I am not afraid of them and I’m not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Bible says that people will be offended by Jesus. Peter called Jesus “a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense.” (1 Pet. 2:8) So why should be be surprised at this? Do not be ashamed of Jesus, Christian friends. Jesus is the TRUTH. And on this day two thousand years ago, He was dead and lying in a tomb. But TOMORROW HE RISES!!!
The good news is that the ending of the battle has already been determined. Good won the battle when Jesus died on the cross and defeated death by returning to life. That part is finished. The battle is over and good has won the victory. Now WE just have to run out the clock, play our part in the physical timeline. But the good guy is not only fighting for us, He’s given us a helper, the Holy Spirit, who is always with us.
We are called to be Jesus’ light and love to this dark, lost world. Jesus is calling us to be bold and fearless just as He was. He is calling us to have eternal vision, to understand how insignificant our own physical lives are here compared to our eternal destiny. All the riches and power in the world are nothing compared to the riches and power of Jesus Christ.
Deuteronomy 16"Observe the month of Abib and celebrate the Passover to the LORD your God, for in the month of Abib the LORD your God brought you out of Egypt by night." Deuteronomy 16:1God instructed the Israelites to observe many celebrations and feast days throughout the year to commemorate all the great miracles He had done for them. It is important to observe and remember the amazing things God has done for us as well. This is why we celebrate Easter and Christmas. But it is so easy to forget, to let Easter become just a day for food, candy and egg hunts... and Christmas just about Santa and gifts. It is us to us to consciously remember God's most amazing gift to us -- Jesus Christ.("Remember the Time" painting by Laur Iduc) ... See MoreSee Less